Kids,
Life has a funny way of almost never living up to your expectations. I mean, here I was thinking that one day, the man of my dreams will come along and sweep me off my feet. But no man came, and I was adding too much weight to be swept of my feet with ease. And then, out of pure frustration, I put up the following description on a matrimonial website, and that is how I got acquainted with the mostly-wonderful-and-sometimes-a-royal-PITA man that is your dad. And that’s also one of the ways life is so different from the way we authors interpret it: in real life, stories are allowed to have boring beginnings.
Your mom, at 25:
Dear prospective bridegroom,
Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays, I’m intelligent, calm, funny, cheerful, ambitious and bucketsful of fun to be with!
Mondays and Wednesdays I may just turn cranky, sarcastic, testy and remind you of your grumpy Math teacher from Standard 9. The one with hair on her chin and a large mole on her upper lip (no, no, I don’t have any of these myself – but what’s the harm in airing your imagination a little?)
Weekends will depend. On you.
I’m an extrovert and love to talk. I’m also a voracious reader and you can expect more books in the luggage that will eventually accompany me, than clothes. I’m a strong believer in preserving family bonds, so ill-treating your parents or mine will never be cool with me. And I also have strong womens’ lib-ish tendencies, so you will be expected to share some of the household chores. In a 30 – 70 pattern. Ok, I was just kidding. I’m no slave-driver! 40 – 60!
I’m not too fond of travel (Nat Geo and TLC do just fine for me!), but if travel we must, I generally like to go exploring in our own country. And I absolutely love the Indian Railways (2 tier AC of course. And the Rajdhani and August Kranti rock! So think of all the post-marriage costs this bride will save!)
I’m also not a foodie and my idea of fun is definitely not to sample the delicacies at every newly-opened eatery. And I hate conversations about food. So if you are a foodie, here’s the hint to quit!
Domestics: Coming to the really important part, my internal metabolism is set somewhere between ‘ho hum. will get it done’ to ‘REDEFINING SLOTH!’. Household chores will eventually be done, and with astounding thoroughness, but the emphasis is on the word ‘eventually’. I cook pretty well, in my humble opinion: my adrak-chai is world-famous in my family. But you may not grow a sambhar belly on my cooking!
Career: I’m a writer by profession, so you will often be called upon to read large blocks of text, and make appreciative sounds. And live with the fact that I think I’m a reincarnation of Jane Austen. And that I hope to enter Indian politics one day.
Bu that, in a peanut shell, is me.
4 Comments
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hey, good one! I think you have been very honest on this one and I am sure you’ll soon find sweet success. thoroughly readable and I like the fact that you consider yourself, well, Jane Austen!
best wishes girl!
Hehe, thanks! And how have you been? I had such an “OMG!!” moment when I saw your comment – running into a virtual acquaintance after ages can be as pleasant as running into a real-life one!
You should not have had the OMG moment. I read every post of your blog, come on
I have been doing OK. The major highlight, well, I got published in tehelka last month!
Here is hoping that your groom search does not become as boring as Ted’s search in the current season
And thanks for reminding me of my 9th std Math teacher. As looks go, she was the exact opposite to the one you described, although grumpy she was.
And thanks for reminding me of trains. Indian railways made the journey fun (and adventurous)
All the best!